


Carry On (The Way It Should Have Been)

by AllHallowsEve



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix It, M/M, Suicide, Wincest - Freeform, s15e20 Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHallowsEve/pseuds/AllHallowsEve
Summary: I feel really betrayed but not surprised by the final episode.  So this is a fix it of how I wish it had gone.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 171





	Carry On (The Way It Should Have Been)

**Author's Note:**

> This is sooo not beta’d. It is being written on my phone. I couldn’t sleep until I got this out of my head.

Sam woke up and sat on the edge of his bed. Hair hanging in his face with no real desire to push it out of the way but he did it anyway out of habit. He found his way to the kitchen and made breakfast but he had no appetite.   
  


Miracle was his constant companion but the company gave no joy to his ruined heart, only further sorrow every time Sam brought himself to look at the dog. _Dean’s Good Boy._ Sam’s heart broke for the seventeen thousandth time since waking up that morning in a world without his big brother. The thought was still inconceivable.   
  
He sat for hours in the library doing nothing. Every time his eyes found their way to the table, traveling aimlessly over and over the D.W. and S.W. carved together, he had to look away. The tears streaming down his face burned endless rivulets as they passed, but he never bother to wipe them away anymore.

He finally managed to take a shower and got dressed in a dark grey button down. It used to be Dean’s but Sam borrowed it and never found a reason to give it back.

He walked slowly to Dean’s room. It was the first time he had been able to bring himself to go anywhere near it since...

He turned on the light and looked around. Feeling like he should wait for permission to enter but Dean wasn’t there to care.   
  
Sam went in and sat down on the chest at the end of the bed. He took the room in, the empty bottles from their last beers together left on the side table like abandoned soldiers. The shotguns on Dean’s wall were freshly cleaned and ready for their next hunt. 

The tears began again. Miracle whined. It made the tears fall harder. Sam stood and walked to the door knowing Miracle would follow. As soon as the dog walked out the door Sam closed it between them. 

He didn’t have his phone with him. The only person he wanted to hear on the other end of his cell would never be calling again so why pack it around? So he dug around in Dean’s phone drawer and grabbed Dean’s other other phone, quickly sending off a text to Garth to come pick up Miracle for a doggie vacation. He then shut the phone off.

He walked slowly over to the wall and retrieved the shorter shotgun. He dug around in one of the other drawers for some ammo and went to the side of Dean’s bed and sat. He loaded the gun and laid back onto the bed where his brother had slept for so many years. Their only real home outside of Dean’s beloved Baby that they had ever known.

A calm peaceful feeling came over him for the first time since turning to hear Dean say, “Sam, I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

*********************************  
  


Dean couldn’t believe what Bobby was telling him about heaven. He felt a little numb and in shock. Bobby handed him a beer and Dean was surprised by how it tasted. He relayed the flavor’s story to Bobby and said it was fantastic. Bobby said “Just like this.”

Dean looked at him but couldn’t match Bobby’s opinion of the new heaven. The only thing that truly mattered was yet to be here. Dean’s face showed a weary sadness chiseled with heavy loss and regret as he said “It’s _almost_ perfect.”

Quiet hung in the air for a moment. Then he heard the unmistakable purr of Baby. He frowned wondering if maybe his mom or dad had their own version of the Impala, begrudgingly admitting that it had been theirs first. He stood up to see which one of his parents might be behind the wheel, but his heart clenched tight in his chest. The car’s engine idled and the door swung wide allowing Sam to step out. 

Dean’s face burst into a huge grin, as tears began streaming down his cheeks. Sam’s countenance mirrored his brother’s right down to the free-flowing tears of joy.

Sam stepped away from the car as he said “Let’s go for a drive.”

Dean started forward, “You know I’m driving.”

Sam chuckled, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They slid easily into their respective seats and Dean reached over and turned on the radio. The first iconic opening bars of “Carry on Wayward Son” came out of the speakers.

Dean turned to look at Sam, the smile having yet to leave his lips, “Ah, I love this song.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry to anyone who is as hurt and upset as I am right now. Don’t get me wrong, Dean’s death scene and everything he said to Sam was beautiful and I am so glad to have gotten to witness it and the amazing acting done by Jensen and Jared in that scene. I just do not believe Sam, the Sam now, would have gone on without Dean. The Sam from some other point in the series, maybe, but not the Sam who did unspeakable things to cure DemonDean. Not the, “if we die then we will do that together too” Sam. 
> 
> Plus fuck you to tptb. Our boys got half a second to live in peace with their freedom after saving the universe yet again and then Dean dies? They couldn’t have given a 5+ years in the future tag or 10 years if we were lucky? No we got what? a few weeks, a few months? Fuck you Dabb.


End file.
